Weekly Limerick

Vuvuzella

2010-07-06T12:43:00.000-07:00

What's plastic, a metre long, brightly coloured and sounds like an elephant?

It's the vuvuzela, the noise-making trumpet of South African football fans, and it's come to symbolise the sport in the country.

Here is a limerick to celebrate this instrument and World Cup 2010.

Hey you frantic, fanatic fella
With pursed lips on the vuvuzella
Your song adds to the throng
Grows and reverberates so strong
Like a billion bees buzzing a capella.

Peruvian Dawn

2010-05-17T14:06:00.000-07:00

Its been many years since I followed my dream to travel around the world. One of my first destinations was Peru. I had always dreamt of hiking the Machu Pichu trail.

I was recently reminiscing about the trip. And re-captured my memories in this limerick.

Peruvian Dawn

A morning sun warms the new-born dew
Andean peaks infused with a pink-golden hue
Rise the spirits within
the Machu Picchu ruins
Its so magical to be in Peru.

Go see Peru.

There once was a man with no hair

2009-06-15T12:35:00.000-07:00

From June 15th, Limerick-Off
1st line provided: "There once was a man with no hair"

There once was a man with no hair
Who grafted sea-otter fur in despair
Now with long flowing tresses
His delight he expresses
Balancing beach balls while standing on a chair!

P.S. When I looked on the internet, I discovered that the sea-otter may be the harriest mammal on earth. With 150,000 strands of hair per sq. centimeter, its fur is the most dense of any animal. Hence the inspiration for above.

Limerick-Off - Week of June 8th

2009-06-13T06:59:00.000-07:00

Here are my contributions to a "limerick-off" created by Madeleine Kane

There once was a government clerk
Who was known to brag with a smirk
He'd pompously proclaim
"Sloth isn't my aim,
To shirk work, is simply a quirk."

There once was a woman named June
Went skinny-dipping on a hot afternoon,
Such a feeling sublime!
She lost track of time
When she emerged, she looked like a prune.

The Lament of Ma Cheng

2009-04-25T09:30:00.000-07:00

"Any Tom, Dick or Harry" refers to an unspecified person. The equivalent in China is "some Zhang, some Li".

At last count, there are 92 million Wangs, followed by 91 million Li's and 86 million Zhangs in China.

The grandfather of our protagonist, Ma Cheng, found a rare character for her name - so rare that once people see it, they remember her and her name.

However, the Chinese government says "Name not on our list, Change it" ( see New York Times article here)

I was inspired to write an original limerick. Hence,

THE LAMENT OF MA CHENG

In a vast land, where millions are called the same
An original solution, this problem overcame
I stood out as a character special
But it irks the system judicial
To be listed as someone, I need to change my name!

Steel and Ink

2009-02-28T20:50:00.000-08:00

Steel and ink
Just feel, don't think
The line will turn
The blood will run
A heart rise, an impression sink.

Ink and steel
Just think, don't feel
The line will turn
The blood will run
A mind open, the skin seal.

For Matt S, of Analog.

The Year of The Ox

2009-01-25T14:14:00.000-08:00

Hurry, get the firecrackers out of the box
Get dressed, don't forget the red socks.
With hard work we won't falter,
Let's hope this year to prosper
Come, let's welcome the Year of The Ox.

Happy Chinese New Year.

Oil: Black or Red?

2008-04-13T07:56:00.000-07:00

Rising gas pump prices have consumers seeing red.

How about the human cost of oil? It has me seeing red - in a different way.

The petrol I pour in my car looks red
From a war that claims its weekly dead,
Will our appetite for the oil
That springs from blood-soaked soil
Forever curse an innocent mother's head?

Jason Bourne: "Run as job one"

2008-04-12T09:17:00.000-07:00

This week I am writing a limerick for an actor in one of my three favorite film trilogies. Matt Damon became the unexpected success in the Bourne franchise and redefined the action genre with his portrayal of Jason Bourne - an intelligent, vulnerable and kinetic action hero on the run. The hunter and the hunted.

If you have not, I fully recommend seeing all 3 movies. Or see them again. The latest one won 2 Oscars in 2008.

Here's one for Matt Damon.

The Bourne trilogy has achieved a feat uncommon
Made a star-celebrity of 'baby-face' Matt Damon,
No longer chained is the action-hero
To cracking skulls at climes sub-zero
Appearing vulnerable is an emotion, he too can summon.

Ben Shalom Bernanke: "He's Nobleman Banker"

2008-04-06T15:21:00.001-07:00

(March Madness or Work Insanity. March was a wash due to a heavy workload. Or was it writer's block? Catching up now.)

With the bleak economy on the front page, "Doctor" Bernanke has his work 'cut out for him.'

His brows furrowed, his mind sharp for action
A troubled outlook, he readies for a contraction.
"Should I utter the "R" word,
While falling on my sword?
And move quickly for a chop-chop C-section."

Angst About French Cinema

2008-02-24T05:50:00.000-08:00

I watched a French movie called La Moustache recently. The entire movie dwells on a man and his (missing) moustache.

Now mind you, the critics have loved it. Here is the limerick it inspired...

In French movies, the practice is widespread
To examine characters while not much is said,
They angst about the mundane
And dwell over the inane,
The abrupt endings leave me scratching my head.

Sir Edmund Hillary: Mind Hardily Rules

2008-02-16T12:53:00.000-08:00

Reaching any mountain's summit is a triumph of mind over body.

Sir Edmund Hillary("Mind Hardily Rules") was the first man, with Tenzing Norgay, to climb Everest on May 29, 1953. He died recently on January 10, 2008.

I had thought of writing a limerick in his honor and finally got around to it.

Raising my head in respect, is something necessary
For a man whose achievement is quite legendary,
It was his purposeful determination
That captured our imagination,
When first on Everest's summit, stood Sir Edmund Hillary.

Laphroaig: Single Malt Gestalt

2008-02-10T18:40:00.001-08:00

Sometimes my friend calls me up and says, "let's have some of that smoky stuff...". I know what he has in mind. Here's to the old smoky!

Here's an ode to THE seductive single malt
From a scotch drinker that's worth his salt,
With it's smoky taste from peat
And just a touch of sweet,
Laphroaig is the choice; my default.

Visit the official site here.

Angular Alexander

2008-01-26T13:19:00.000-08:00

A limerick in the 'classic' style for this week.

There was a skinny lad called Alexander
Who cheerfully bought a chest expander,
On gaining great results
Enlarged his pectorals to exult,
And knocked down an innocent bystander.

Get one!

Kindle: "Catch Fire" or "A Chic Fret"

2008-01-19T10:57:00.000-08:00

Amazon introduced a new electronic book device called Kindle in November 2007.

Just a fuss or an elegant hobby reshaper?
This new world without the crinkle of paper,
Will this novel device called Kindle
Cause my library trips to dwindle?
If it stores enough ebooks to fill a skyscraper?

More information in wikipedia here.

Get Kindle.

Sound for the Inner Ear

2008-01-12T09:56:00.000-08:00

Gotye Will Tickle Your Cochlea!

I discovered some very interesting music by an Australian band called Gotye (pronounced "gaw-tee-yeah"). Now imagine the prospect of writing a limerick about them. How do you make something rhyme with Gotye?

Here it is. I got a kick out of it. Hope you do too.

Looking for something to tickle your cochlea?
An aural sensation with edges non-linear?
Then hear the distinctive sound
It's the only way around,
Yield to the vibration of the down-under Gotye.

Gotye on MySpace.

An amazing, amazing video on YouTube here.

Get Like Drawing Blood

One final fascinating fact: Gotye is a one-person band. Wally created all the vocals and sounds on this album.

(She Says:) "Men - Draft Ale, Beer?"

2008-01-06T07:34:00.000-08:00

Anagram of "Female Bartender"

Recently, India overturned a law that banned women bartenders. See the New York Times story here

The Indian Courts have cleared the stage
Ruling against a woman's disadvantage
The judges were quite keen
Since it's not 1914,
On making female bartenders the new rage.

New Year Resolution: Keep Rolling

2008-01-05T07:30:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year and best wishes for a great 2008.

I missed posting a limerick last week. So, there are two that will be published this week.

It seems "weight loss" is the number one goal after the holidays. Here are my thoughts.

Facing the burdensome goal of weight loss
On New Year's day, I sat with legs crossed,
And scaled my mind's summit
To seek advice from the wise hermit,
Who offered,"A rolling stone gathers no moss."

Hillary Clinton - The Likability Tour De Force

2007-12-22T09:04:00.000-08:00

Not a person to dilly-dally, Hillary Clinton makes a serious effort to be likable.

With growing perception, she's "the queen of ice"
Hillary realized, she had very little choice,
But to recast her cold persona
As warm and cuddly, not a loner,
While saying, "please vote for me! Really, I am nice."

"After Delay, Clinton Embarks on a Likability Tour"
NY Times Article on December 19, 2007 here

Digital Deficiency, Dutch "Emergency"

2007-12-16T14:04:00.000-08:00

A Dutch fisherman that was angling for a pike
Had a North Sea encounter he didn't like,
Lost a finger to a shark
Only to woefully remark,
"I have fewer digits for plugging a dyke."

The legend of Hans Brinker, the little Dutch boy here

Some cartoons on the little Dutch boy here

"No Wii" Anxiety Syndrome

2007-12-09T20:21:00.000-08:00

Christmas is just over two weeks away and the low availability of the Nintendo Wii continues to induce a state of anxiety across the country.

Behold a nation in a state of despair
Grown men and women tearing out their hair,
As the stocks run low
Comes a heart-rending bellow,
"Where's my Nintendo Wii?, Oh life is unfair!"

San Jose Mercury News story on the scarcity of the Nintendo Wii here

Shake, Rattle and Roll

2007-12-02T18:39:00.001-08:00

No shake or rattle, but a feeling droll
When I envision the "California roll",
No ground-moving confusion
Rather, a 70's sushi fusion
Imagine cucumber,crab 'n avocado on a stroll.

See the origin of the California Roll here

"Vision Gone Dim Then"

2007-11-25T16:33:00.001-08:00

Anagram of "No End In Sight Movie"

On US blunders, up-close not remote
"No End In Sight" raises an alarming note,
The movie will enlighten
Or perhaps seriously frighten,
A "must-see", before you're ready to vote.

Check out the movie website here

The movie on Amazon.com No End in Sight.

Sign "of the Times"

2007-11-17T21:04:00.001-08:00

There is unrest in the schools of Bangalore
Where young teachers think teaching is a bore,
A whopping 83%
Are looking for improvement,
Making money, doing IT offshore.

News source: The Times of India, November 17, 2007
"83% of teachers in Bangalore bored, want out."

The Beginning

2007-11-11T19:04:00.000-08:00

A weekly limerick, is the plan I have made

An idea, my effort, a crusade,

To keep up my spirit

Will you please visit,

And share a comment or an accolade.

You ask "what is a limerick?". See here